Why won’t you stay with Me?

Oh, won’t you stay with me?

Cause you’re all I need

Sam Smith (Stay with Me)

The three reasons why people don’t succeed in their careers are because they don’t SETTLE, they don’t ATTACH and they don’t ACHIEVE.

Last article, we have talked on how to find the proper career path for you, but now it is time to focus on the WHYS and HOWS should you stay on your chosen life mission. Once you have lost something, would you dare to lose it again, or maximize the capacity of the lost and found? The practical answer is YES, I would capitalize on my suddenly discovered talents and skills! Unfortunately, the truthful response of most is, NO, I will try and find more paths that might bring me to satisfaction and success. My brothers and sisters, you must not continue to find jobs and paths, if you already have one that makes you feel secured, stable and contented. We do not have everyday to keep searching, so we need to stop at a certain point as soon as possible and BUILD on it. If you want to find peace, be successful and be a purveyor of prosperity to others, then you must conquer and dominate yourself and you world, not because you need to, but because YOU ARE ABLE TO DO IT!

1.  Why SETTLE?

Like what I have said earlier, Time is never on our side. You’ll get tired and weak soon, hopeless perhaps, so it is necessary for you to find your safe haven as soon as you get hold of yourself completely. Just picture this, after a long day of work, when you get home, you’ll not keep standing and search in circles for the best place to rest, instead, you’ll sit down or rest your back on the bed automatically. It may take long before you search for some job vacancy that you like, a career in which you are confident that you’ll stay with for long or an academic course that’ll keep your eyes wide open for the next 4 or 5 years, but ensure that when you see or sense the right opportunity coming right at you, be sure to seize it and never let it go, because you never know when your next break would come. Why settle? There are a plethora of job opportunities, vocations and academic courses to choose from, I can pick one profession or take a series of subjects and quit if I lose interest in them! Well, if you could live for very healthy hundred or so years, then go and cease every uncalculated moment.

Then, are you telling me not to take risks and play safe?

YES! You must not depend your life on chances and probabilities and bet it on the pathways that would birth more and more burdens! In fact, 9 out of 10 situations in your life do not require you to take risks, instead, a practical array of choices lie in front of you every single day! The problem is that people don’t see the answers to what they’re finding and choose to gamble their time, efforts and even half of their lives to something that isn’t worth it all.

Next question, does settling means imprisonment?

Absolutely not! To settle on something which is worth all the hustle and bustle is approving your purpose, the meaning of life! You can never be caged in by something you love and tortured by something which builds your character and establishes your spirit on an hourly basis. Settling is being in your comfort zone, being in your comfort zone is mechanically making building heaven down here.

Last question, can you not settle, but be intensely passionate with two or three paths at the same time?

Absolutely not, my friend! Settlement is marrying yourself to your career, and in marriage, it is always a requirement to say, “I do!” When you don’t commit yourself to something, you won’t get anything good in return. Your life would be a joke if you choose to work for financial profit that will come and go, torn apart and left behind, without edifying your intangible treasures. When you partake in something you like, entrust your soul and body into it and it’ll do the same. I am not saying that you cannot be a cowboy and astronaut at the same time, but guarantee that you would be the best cowboy and the best astronaut anyone will ever see. At this age, you must distinguish the difference between a hobby from a career, a career from a hobby. Love both, but prioritize God first, then your family, then career and hobby last.


You settle because you want to attach, you attach because you want to protect your settlement. Attaching yourself to your career expressway is like building a fence around your house (your career). In attachment, you become aware of your present skills at hand and skills you may learn or not, manage wholly or partially. As time passes, you slowly push out, increase the width and height of that fence of yours, making your indoor living space roomier. Deciding to attach yourself immediately after settling is one of the most beautiful periods in our lives, though tedious and rocky, it widens our eyes to things we never see in the darkest corners. But like all interests and dedications, Attachment has its light and dark sides, and you must know these first before you jump onto this step. The positive side of this phase is that you know that you are beginning to grow as a person and you know what it takes to be an achiever, by learning the essences of balance, confidence, discipline and maturity. In short, Attaching is expressing your commitment fervently with your spouse, which is your career (in this case). What may be horrific about attachment, is “over attachment”,meaning that you jump over your fence without notice and sufficient reason. Jumping over the fence may mean two things, first is that you are abandoning your fenced territory because you have failed or unreasonably choose to search wildly for another, or you want to extend your fences illogically because of the greedy thoughts of expanding what is already expanded. Leaving your designated post and expanding when there is no necessary need to, is trampling your already established fences, such as your obligations to family, time for friends, relationship with God and so on and so forth.

How do I know if it’s high time for me to stretch out my fence and whose signal should I hear, to know that I am ready to widen my front yard?

As silly as it is seems or it may sound, but you’ll know when it’s your time to expand your boundaries. When you feel the virtue of contentment upon having your current abilities and possessions, then you are ready, responsible and creditable to receive more than you can handle. Your voice and your family’s are the only sounds you must only listen to when you make tough decisions like this one? Why me and them? You, because you are the only one who knows yourself very well, and your family, because they know what you don’t know about yourself.

Can i just simply attach, and choose  to not go further?

It’s always a choice between Yes or Not Yet! Levelling up and going further is the application of all you’ve learned from the longitude of time in settlement. When you are stagnant in the process of attachment, you deprive your character of fortification and mind of digging deeper. Attachment is an endless declaration of your continual love for your career, and good consequences it will bring.


Achieving is just like putting a new centrepiece on the middle of your fenced mansion’s living room. Your achievements, whether material or not, are proofs of your contributions to the human race, your existence in the solutions of hardships, even if you’ve passed on to another heaven. In fact, this is not a stage or step towards finding your world, the mere fact that you have found a decent settlement and attached yourself completely to your life path is something that is honorable to mention as your life achievement. Achievements are only gentle decorations which are placed on you as a symbol of your cooperation and devotion to a given mission; in short these are only small prizes to represent an even bigger picture, a larger accomplishment, which could not fit on any medal, plaque, paper or gift check. Bear in mind that you should only begin to start chasing achievements and glory, once you have already settled and committed to your life expressway. If you choose to collect golds, silvers and bronze without permanently writing into heart the exact reason why you want to have them in the first place, then man, you will always stay on the last position getting nothing but hunger, unhappiness and desperate longing.

How many achievements should I have?

How many do you want to have? Well, you had already settled comfily, that’s 1 award, you’ve attached your mortality to your careers, that’s already 2 awards, in the course of life, you have embraced that you are the Child of God, that’s 3 awards, and as you begin to conclude your journey, you gain wisdom by understanding that you can never know everything about the world, that’s 4 awards. For me, these four medals are what you want to pull off during your lifetime, and it’s all up to your fondness if you choose to earn other extracurricular honors, such as The Excellent Employee Award, Outstanding Student Award, Best in Attendance Certificate, and so on and so forth.

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